07-17-2013, 10:32 PM
I’m a big fan of imagery like the “ocean crawling” and “the sun walks the sky”, I think these work really well.
The 2nd stanza strikes me as weaker than the rest of the piece, “cooing softly” in particular doesn’t sit quite right in my opinion.
Overall a nice mood is set, has that almost nostalgic feeling to it, which I always appreciate.
The 2nd stanza strikes me as weaker than the rest of the piece, “cooing softly” in particular doesn’t sit quite right in my opinion.
Overall a nice mood is set, has that almost nostalgic feeling to it, which I always appreciate.