The Allure of the Tempest (1st Edit)

[fim]

I agree that the 5th stanza needs work to flow with the rest of the piece. If you don't remove it, perhaps enhance it. It's very vague and general where the rest feels vivid to me. Also the second stanza veers from the rhyming scheme and perhaps could be rearranged so it matches. Maybe rewrite the line "adventurers, most commonly sailors". That feels like a line from a textbook, not a poem and I think you could capture the same message with stronger words.

The first line and the last stanza were my favorite. Very relatable. Obviously felt by the writer and the perfect way to tie it all together. Thanks for sharing!!!

Thanks for your critique c.g.!
I agree with you! The line you identified as needing work was the one I wrestled with the most. I will persevere ... and post the edit!
Thanks again!
fim