07-12-2013, 05:51 PM
Hi tec,
thanks again for your thoughts.
It is obviously not working if I need to explain it but then again if you wrote a poem about a mathmatical formula - no matter how famous it was i would need you to explain it. Look up elder flowers (+ berries) and then if you are at all creative (in the kitchen) think about the process for making elderflower cordial or syrup. (In ciderland i then add this to the cider).
The wounded leaves (5 points) E/ flower leaves come in sets of five. and then this referance is probably a bit too "local"
= a ref to the five wounds of christ (our local village was the site of the prayer book rebelion...whose flag was the five wounds). In my mind the understory relates a period of phisical and spiritual pain that resulted in the emergance of something of greater worth than that which it was birthed from.
The soft and foppish I was trying to illicit an image of a youthful hair style.
Don't normally set out thoughts like this but I am getting frusrated with this one as to how I can communicate my metaphore and understory without it becoming abstract or unacessable...and without loosing the story. I guess I have too much of a fixed idea in my head of where I want the poem to go. I know the advice is for the writer to control the poem, but I also get a feeling that sometimes we have to work with the poem.
Does any of this make sense?...and any of you experianced poets got any thoughts on this ? (can be moved to a discussion thread)
thanks again for your thoughts.
It is obviously not working if I need to explain it but then again if you wrote a poem about a mathmatical formula - no matter how famous it was i would need you to explain it. Look up elder flowers (+ berries) and then if you are at all creative (in the kitchen) think about the process for making elderflower cordial or syrup. (In ciderland i then add this to the cider).
The wounded leaves (5 points) E/ flower leaves come in sets of five. and then this referance is probably a bit too "local"
= a ref to the five wounds of christ (our local village was the site of the prayer book rebelion...whose flag was the five wounds). In my mind the understory relates a period of phisical and spiritual pain that resulted in the emergance of something of greater worth than that which it was birthed from.
The soft and foppish I was trying to illicit an image of a youthful hair style.
Don't normally set out thoughts like this but I am getting frusrated with this one as to how I can communicate my metaphore and understory without it becoming abstract or unacessable...and without loosing the story. I guess I have too much of a fixed idea in my head of where I want the poem to go. I know the advice is for the writer to control the poem, but I also get a feeling that sometimes we have to work with the poem.
Does any of this make sense?...and any of you experianced poets got any thoughts on this ? (can be moved to a discussion thread)