07-12-2013, 06:18 AM
Hi Hardon
I want to ask "what happened?" It was going along nice and smooth and then suddenly you changed tack for the last two stanzas. On first read I personally think they don't add anything to the poem and you could loose them.
But will come back and will re-read soon to offer some further crit and see if I change my mind about the last two stanzas. (sometimes it takes a few reads to get something !)
AJ.
I want to ask "what happened?" It was going along nice and smooth and then suddenly you changed tack for the last two stanzas. On first read I personally think they don't add anything to the poem and you could loose them.
But will come back and will re-read soon to offer some further crit and see if I change my mind about the last two stanzas. (sometimes it takes a few reads to get something !)
AJ.