07-12-2013, 05:28 AM
@ tec: Hopefully I’ve tamed this down to be suitable to be read before 9pm. (Although personally I’m gutted that there is not a lacto-porn site with “Devon dairy farmers under udders” story to be found …it might have been entertaining 
). You will no doubt notice that I still have a thing with creamy going on in my poem. 
(I still prefer creamy golden load – poetically speaking, but I'll give it a try your way 
)
One question: I'm unable to make my mind up about "In adversity" in S4 last line. (It is there because of the strong image i have from the understory but as a stand alone not sure the poem needs it). Any thoughts please.
Also line two S1 is vexing me. I lkied unshaken (but get what was mentioned about the tense), however i really wanted the whole back image of "shake the darling buds of may" thing going on as after all this is a poem I wanted to dedicate to a poet. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
). You will no doubt notice that I still have a thing with creamy going on in my poem. (I still prefer creamy golden load – poetically speaking, but I'll give it a try your way )One question: I'm unable to make my mind up about "In adversity" in S4 last line. (It is there because of the strong image i have from the understory but as a stand alone not sure the poem needs it). Any thoughts please.
Also line two S1 is vexing me. I lkied unshaken (but get what was mentioned about the tense), however i really wanted the whole back image of "shake the darling buds of may" thing going on as after all this is a poem I wanted to dedicate to a poet. Any suggestions would be appreciated.