Adam's Choice edit 1

[Brownlie]

thanks for jumping in milo


is here in this instant fem or stressed? just asking so as to give insight into the meter of certain parts of the poem.

the main metrical problem is on "The children . . ." which contains an anapest.

The bigger problem with the "seer" refrain that no one is mentioning is that if it is "SEer" which is the correct pronunciation, than the other refrain HAS to have a feminine ending, one of the reasons almost all villanelles only use fem endings on the "b" lines. The only solution is to talk about grilling meat as far as I can see.

added: The edited version contains no metrical problems at all, but the padding is so obvious that it is awkward, in at least one instance actually breaking grammar rule. I want to give a full crit, but not on my phone.

Whenever you have the time.