Adam's Choice edit 1

[Brownlie]

Hi Brownlie..the villanelle is a challenging form. I like what you have done here, tackling a biblical theme.

Refrains need to be strong and memorable for a villanelle to work, and yours are, for the most part. But the word "go" in the first one gives the line a very colloquial vibe. It makes the syntax awkward. I understand it is a needed syllable for meter's sake, but perhaps a rewording is in order. The other refrain is perfect metrically, and supports the theme of seduction and deceit well.

Two other things concern me. Since you are covering the fall of man from the Genesis account, there are two liberties you have taken with the storyline. First, the fruit in question is never specified. It is always assumed to be an apple. Second, Adam was given the fruit by his wife Eve..he did not stumble onto it, nor was he directly approached by the serpent. These two things are not deal breakers for me, nor do they reflect the quality of your verse (which I think is very high).

I think S4 and S5 are the strongest. There are a few spots where the meter should be adjusted, however. Ex. from S5:

Is Satan thinking he beguiled Eve
by adding blush to her now vibrant cheeks?
What knowledge hangs, will I become a seer?

"Now" is an accented syllable, but the iambic meter calls for an unaccented syllable.

I hope this is helpful, and thank you for indulging me. Overall, I like this poem.

First Rate feedback, thank you. Very helpful.