Time Heels

[billy]

hi trlustig.
i see two main problems: cliche of which there are a lot, and meter which is erratic, if you can exchange most of the cliche for more original phrases and sort out a constant meter you'd have a great starting point for the small edits most poetry needs. the end rhymes are almost spot on, though the last verse needs some work in that respect. some help with basic meter can be found here

thanks for the read.

A now old foe from a bygone day,
crossed my path as I walked my way;
the clash of steel, the ring of war,
the blood pumping in my ears once more.

It was good to cross his path again,
the war long dead, greeted as a friend.
My blade still sings of our glory days,
when we danced the dance as predator and prey.

With a nod of the head and a twitch of the wrist,
the memory of weight that once hung from my hip,
we went on our way, towards our own true fight,
to walk form life's bright day to night, did you mean from
and wage the war that no man wins,
against time itself, and winter's cold winds.