07-05-2013, 02:14 AM
Hi billy, thanks for the crit. I removed the warning. I think I'm still mostly uncomfortable with cus words in my poetry... alas, I feel I've led a sheltered existence 
. Modern Marvels is also a TV show reference, I've added an asterisks. You're right, the 3rd stanza is too gollum-y... might be the hissing bringing it over the top. And the next stanza should read like "hurl yourself to the ground". Thanks again,
p&p
. Modern Marvels is also a TV show reference, I've added an asterisks. You're right, the 3rd stanza is too gollum-y... might be the hissing bringing it over the top. And the next stanza should read like "hurl yourself to the ground". Thanks again,p&p