06-30-2013, 07:42 AM
leanne wrote:
"Your tender notes will soothe the strings; -- with the t on the previous line, this is a touch too tinny -- if the previous t were replaced, the softer nd would predominate and slide into the sibilants more smoothly"
but I have a different problem with that line my friend wrote here :
I agree that the line is tinny because of what it means.
Tom, it is not a good line (meaning-wise)
You are a good poet but not here.
You are not as shallow as this line.
cheers
serge (almost drunk)
"Your tender notes will soothe the strings; -- with the t on the previous line, this is a touch too tinny -- if the previous t were replaced, the softer nd would predominate and slide into the sibilants more smoothly"
but I have a different problem with that line my friend wrote here :
I agree that the line is tinny because of what it means.
Tom, it is not a good line (meaning-wise)
You are a good poet but not here.
You are not as shallow as this line.
cheers
serge (almost drunk)
