06-30-2013, 07:16 AM
(06-30-2013, 06:44 AM)rowens Wrote: When I am driving rural roads, the dustGood to see you back Rowens. I used "When I" to keep in line with Blank Verse but that may be unnecessary.
Why, "When I am"?
It's talking stiff. But I'm stiff and drunk.
Maybe you should loosen up some of these lines.
But I'm in the mood to be wrong.
And the comma after "Beneath"?
I do feel the rhythm there though.

