Rewrite of Road Kill Much Shorter

[Brownlie]

When I am driving rural roads, the dust

Why, "When I am"?

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It's talking stiff. But I'm stiff and drunk.

Maybe you should loosen up some of these lines.

But I'm in the mood to be wrong.

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And the comma after "Beneath"?

I do feel the rhythm there though.

Good to see you back Rowens. I used "When I" to keep in line with Blank Verse but that may be unnecessary.