06-29-2013, 05:15 AM
Maybe I don't know anything, but I always liked poetry because it's kind of without rules. That's what I liked about this, it gives me the vibe you wrote this from the heart.
I thought your word choice made sense... It was unique in the way it depicts what you're trying to get across and how... for me, sometimes the beauty of language is to bend the rules.
I also like how it has a little theme goin' on there. What I mean by that is, it's like an episode of someone's life. An issue that needed to be dealt with, and over time the plan changed.
Two things I wasn't too crazy about..
"Reckless abandon for affliction" though kind of came off as a little cliche or unoriginal to me.
The rhythm is hard to pick up on, even though you seemed to have one going on there with the way the lines break.
Like I said, I'm really no poetry master, but when you take it for what it is, I think it's creative and I like the passion that it possesses.
I thought your word choice made sense... It was unique in the way it depicts what you're trying to get across and how... for me, sometimes the beauty of language is to bend the rules.
I also like how it has a little theme goin' on there. What I mean by that is, it's like an episode of someone's life. An issue that needed to be dealt with, and over time the plan changed.
Two things I wasn't too crazy about..
"Reckless abandon for affliction" though kind of came off as a little cliche or unoriginal to me.
The rhythm is hard to pick up on, even though you seemed to have one going on there with the way the lines break.
Like I said, I'm really no poetry master, but when you take it for what it is, I think it's creative and I like the passion that it possesses.