contaminating

[R.C. KITCHENS]

I pissed in the bathwater,
lay back and opened up the bladder valve.
It's a great feeling unleashing;
the gush of a full tank,
but there was no profundity.
I've pissed in cold swimming pools
there was purpose, a sense of achievement
I;m left wondering what purpose there was, it is the only thing so far that sticks out to me making me wonder..

a young lad astride his stallion.

"look at me pissing, yes pissing"

In your swimming pool.

I agree with cidermaid,I think "In your swimming pool" should follow right under "look at me pissing, yes pissing" An exclamation after pissing seems like it'd add to the excitement one would get off doing such a deed .

Warm piss cupping cold balls like matron
on scabies inspection in the kids home.
ahha ha
Turned out she liked inspecting balls
as much as I like pool pissing
ahha ha

I learned that piss in bathwater doesn't make soap
lather yellowed or smelly, pissy smelly,
not fragrant smelly like matron is when you rest
your hands on her stout shoulders
and cough as she says

"cough,"
good imagery here
and sighs.

I remember the ammoniac smell of piss
stained sheets piled on bare floorboards,
a mountain of light brown and crisp white.
A mountain of piss.
I like the ending and get what its referencing, it stays with the tone set. Also, what brownlie referenced about maybe finding another word for piss in the last few lines, you could use urine, But piss seems to centralize very well to me.

I like the rawness of the piece. I was only left wondering about "there was purpose" of pissing in pools. lol. I dont know if I would switch around to much words within it. Good read.