Past of Tomorrow

[milo]

The past of tomorrow hangs low
And the inaction gently anesthetizing past of tomorrow is a nice setup, but after that, it is all generalisations and abstractions.
Blow after blow, what is this blow after blow? There is no way to resolve this in the poem
Forcing the last few breaths out, or in, or wherever they go, this line is adding nothing
Breaking not even a sweat. you have awkward phrasing here fighting with a cliche and i can't say which will win.

What are we but ingrates? now you have "we". Who is this we?
Suffering through the circles of scent, are you suffering due to your ingrattitude?
Canines! Aren't we? you are a pack of woves maybe?
To say the least cliche
We Bow, to the omniscient master, desire more abstraction
With a capital 'D'

And the past of today, laughs. your personification of time would work better if there wasn't so much narrative confusion and unclear logic throughout here
Folds its arms, laughs.
Note that judgmental stare cliche
(Background Laughs)
You may pause.
But just ignore. Ignore!
Not until the past of day after
Is yet to be
Shall we worry

Make a toast
Time is on our side,
Just be. Just be. Just be.

You seem to have an idea of what you want to say here, but you fail to develop a solid clear narrative. You are relying too much on cliche and abstraction. Try to consider some clear, concrete images that would convey your "message" better. Decide what you want to say first maybe and write it in clear plain prose and then develop it into poetry.

If this whole poem was about making a toast or better yet about making toast, it would already be an improvement.

Thanks for posting