time seriously... guys

[tectak]

It is time to go, seriously guys.
My mom wants be home by nine, "be" to me
or she will crack my spine;
and buy a new plane to fly.

Guys, come on it is time to roll. comma after on.
We have all be there before We have to all be there beforeWe have all to be there before
another show. Another girl seeing
another world. Before her eyes. another another. Find another word

Girls don't need. They give me
the only thing I ever want, smiling
hugging. Kissing is good, but so
is a mood made out of beautiful oak.suggest semicolon or the next phrase is incomplete
Oak petrified by love for man. comma or the next phrase is incomplete
Love for child, and love for me.

Some days I wish I could be You can. What you mean is "Some days I wish that I could be "...or..."Some days I wish that I was an oak tree"
an oak tree. But than....................[b] then
I could not love you back.

Interesting use of oak as a metaphor for an emotion. I get a little confused in verse three with what the rhythm, is it supposed to feel like broken up thoughts? Overall very intriguing poem!

but not suitable for serious crit until checked by the writer for basic errors. See forum rules.
tectak