< cat fine, woman dead >

[rayheinrich]

Why do cats have nine lives?
What did they trade with the cosmos?
Which ones of us are cats?

Why cats have nine lives:
A few millennia ago a very hungry cat entered a house. As it happened,
eight children lived there. The cat ate them all. The next day the cat
died from having eaten too much and the spirits of the eight children
were trapped in its belly. To this day all cats hold the spirits of
the eight children in their bellies which is why they can die nine
different times before they become truly dead.
.
.
What did they trade with the cosmos?
Trick question.
Cats are known for always being unwilling to ever trade anything.
.
.
Ways to tell if someone is a cat:

1. Hold something small under their nose and ask them what it is.
Cats can't see under their nose and even if they could they wouldn't
tell you because cats won't do anything you tell them to.

2. Check for eyelashes: Cats don't have them.

3. Check feet: Cats have only four toes.

4. Check urine: Cat urine glows under a black light.

5. Drop them from a great height. A cat will land feet down.