Death on our Roads

[wystan1000]

For cyclists on our roads, the threat of death is all-too real:
This line generated a hilarious image. I imagined it read with some generic mid-western accent typical to American educational filmstrips (google it). At the end of the line, I heard the ding. This could be good if that's where you're going.
people make it all the time.
That's not where you're going. Your "it" is troublesome. The obvious prior referent is "the threat of death". People "make the threat of death" all the time? OK, maybe this is about road rage. I live in Texas. Sometimes folk are tempted to grab the long gun hanging in their pickup's window rack. no people make (raise) the threat of death all the time - so perhaps I should say people raise it all the time.
Like how we ask for it without a helmet and
Oh, "make it" is to live, and "ask for it" is to tempt death. Both are ambiguous. Also, "and" is too feeble a word use at a line break.
when the clown says how the surgeons call us “donors.”
Unless you're talking specifically about Bozo or Krusty, you should say "a clown". Also drop the "the" before "surgeons". Yeah, "a" "the" both work in English English. "The" because people always bring this hoary old urban myth up.

One 3am, this cop pursued me through three reds
I suggest "Once, at 3am". I like the compression of "three reds". I like this reification of a time
on empty City streets I know like lanes:
Why capitalize "city"? Maybe this is a trans-Atlantic difference, but don't streets have lanes instead of being like lanes? City of London takes a capital. Lanes is short for country lanes. Reckon most would get this over here. But noted.
He said, this late, a drunk would run me down
if I got by with just my eyes and ears.
I'm confused here. Do you mean "If I functioned with just my eyes and ears?" Eyes and ears are a pretty good duet for cycling. I need a hint as to what else you need. Traffic lights apparently!

Another one, last midnight, shouted: “halt!”
as I tried nosing round a long, stopped truck
of steel bound for Molloch’s next erection.
It's "Moloch". Are children going to be a burnt sacrifice in there? This is an unnecessary bit of hyperbolic criticism in a poem about cycling. Also, the term "erection" is far too loaded unless you're making an joke, but I don't see that here. Thanks for correction - shorthanded reference to Howl. There's loads of new skyscrapers going up in the City of London at the moment.
“A bit of common sense” he said
“...or you'll go under it.”
Why would you end up under a stopped truck if you're just nosing around it? Ask the cop!
“Like that?” I snapped, “comply or die?”
"Comply" is too strong a word here for the cop's suggestion. Did he draw his sidearm? This is the whole subtext of the poem. People imagine death for (threaten cyclists with) death if they don't follow the rules or behave in ways they can't. Anyway, that's what I said!

Freud said, “Every fear contains a wish.”
And so the cabbie raging at my U-turn tighter
than his cab’s must win some prize for
being actualised:
“I hope you die!"
Why does the cabbie fear your U-turn? In my experience, cabbies are pretty fearless. I'm suggesting the people are "worrying" about cyclists because they, in fact, despise them. They actually want cyclists to stop doing what they are doing or otherwise do it their way ... and be proved right in their misgivings.
In short, your uncertainty about the subject of the poem could either be because it's unclear or because we have such a different frame of reference.
I will certainly have a look and see if I can clarify without losing my rather polemical point. I'm just talking to my sister about it and she's confused about Freud and the taxi driver, so I will have to think if I'm being too clever clever.

thanks very much

Michael