RAGE! (revised)

[tectak]

Unbearable pain has lift the veil from my eyes.
Oh, God of gods I see thee now.
You care not for worship nor tribute
nor songs of praise.
Yet, while the faithful in huddled rags lie,
Butchers rest well in slips of fine linen.
So let us know thee by thy one covenant kept;
"I am the lord thy God and thou shalt die".

For Death, not deliverance is the truth of your grace
and not man's adoration, but his rotting flesh
that satiates you.
Omnipotent, celestial devourer
Unbearable pain has lift the veil from my eyes.
and I see your true form -

God thou art a maggot.

Quite hopelessly buried in cliches. Mock bible-esque language introduced randomly to no good effect and without any discernable reason save to indicate to the reader the paucity of expression throughout this piece.
Conceptually it indicates an immaturity of thinking but more specifically a lack of reading...any part of this which is borderline comprehensible has been said a thousand times before...and the incomprehensible remainder is not worth saying once.
The lofty aim of the piece seems unachievable by the writer. Having said that, perhaps reposting in Novice would bring the necessary surgical skills to bear on the cadaver, for I fear that only a post mortem would help to bring closure...not looking forward to the second coming.
Best,
tectak