War Memorials Edit 3 (Billy, Milo, and Tectack)

War Memorials Edit 3 (Billy, Milo, and Tectack)

milo

mmmmm, brandy

Posts: 1,279
Threads: 187
Joined: Dec 2016

#17

06-15-2013, 10:58 AM

the meter is better, you are missing a rhyme for "igms as", "rome" and heroes". Also, the double "so" intro lines are reading a wee bit padded methinks . . .

Your direction is good, keep chipping away.

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Messages In This Thread

War Memorials Edit 3 (Billy, Milo, and Tectack) - by Brownlie - 06-11-2013, 02:09 AM

RE: War Memorials - by tectak - 06-11-2013, 04:00 AM

RE: War Memorials - by Brownlie - 06-11-2013, 04:18 AM

RE: War Memorials - by tectak - 06-11-2013, 05:06 AM

RE: War Memorials - by milo - 06-11-2013, 06:27 AM

RE: War Memorials - by tectak - 06-11-2013, 07:12 AM

RE: War Memorials - by Brownlie - 06-11-2013, 07:56 AM

RE: War Memorials - by milo - 06-11-2013, 09:18 PM

RE: War Memorials - by Brownlie - 06-12-2013, 12:56 AM

RE: War Memorials - by milo - 06-12-2013, 06:48 AM

RE: War Memorials - by Brownlie - 06-13-2013, 02:32 AM

RE: War Memorials - by Bunx - 06-12-2013, 01:36 AM

RE: War Memorials Edit (Milo, and Tectack) - by milo - 06-13-2013, 07:33 AM

RE: War Memorials Edit (Milo, and Tectack) - by Brownlie - 06-13-2013, 09:00 AM

RE: War Memorials Edit (Milo, and Tectack) - by billy - 06-13-2013, 10:29 AM

RE: War Memorials Edit (Milo, and Tectack) - by Brownlie - 06-14-2013, 11:35 PM

RE: War Memorials Edit 2 (Billy, Milo, and Tectack) - by milo - 06-15-2013, 10:58 AM

RE: War Memorials Edit 2 (Billy, Milo, and Tectack) - by Brownlie - 06-18-2013, 01:55 AM

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