Once were

[Leanne]

To be honest a lot of this didn't make a lot of sense to me, which never really bothers me at all but it does make it harder to comment in this instance.

First, my version of the interpretation as I see this is in vogue now. I read that it was about fame or such - yippee!!, I still don't get that. I saw "you" as an iPOD!!! yes, the life of an ipod, born in a chinese factory, shouts and flashes on the "floor" (the factory flooor), you come in a box, the "Apple" label we all know by osmosis the added value, etc.

ok, enough of that. I had a problem with the "big" words, not because they are big words, but because they felt clumsily handled, shoe-horned in with no new "poet's" touch or feeling which is a surprise from you. (This was osmosis, centrifuged and quiddity). I liked the idea of finger-painted stripes, but only seeing them with eyes closed(?) ruined the whole image for me, imaginary finger painted stripes!! My favorite part was "iMemories" - very current, I have a feeling the word built the poem and I have a feeling it will build another.

thanks for the read.

Cheers!

milo

Sorry milo, I missed this. All valid points, though without specific suggestions for editing I presume the message is to pulp this and start again -- a fair enough conclusion also. Cheers for the feedback.