"This is our world as we know it"

[heslopian]

The first two verses create a sense of a poem which regards nature and the universe away from human influence, so it comes as a shock when you start bringing up hate and schoolyards, but shock isn't such a bad thing. Some of your lines have real beauty, even if some individual images - like L3 of S3 ("in chains, in cells") - may be a bit too simple. The last stanza is my favourite, because it creates in a quietly but stunningly beautiful way the impression of countless human ambitions, completely unaware of each other, scattered across an indifferent world. Thank you very mcuh for the read