The attic (post edit)
#11
(05-30-2013, 10:11 AM)Ryan_w_r Wrote:  Dust filled bars of light cut through one another as their paths intersect.
Smells of mildew, and mothballs coat the thick, and stagnant air.
Memories lay dormant in the dark, forgotten memories meant to be remembered.
Where unneeded wants go to live out their existence...

-The attic
You start out with some good imagery than you collapse into more generalized statements what specifically are the forgotten memories. What are the unneeded wants.. Thumbsup
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Messages In This Thread
The attic (post edit) - by Ryan_w_r - 05-30-2013, 10:11 AM
RE: Short poem - by rowens - 05-31-2013, 12:23 AM
RE: Short poem - by Ryan_w_r - 05-31-2013, 02:55 AM
RE: Short poem - by Brownlie - 05-31-2013, 04:39 AM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by FayandFire - 06-03-2013, 01:27 PM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by Bunx - 06-04-2013, 10:44 PM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by Ryan_w_r - 06-05-2013, 02:45 AM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by UnicornRainbowCake - 06-05-2013, 03:55 AM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by autumnleaves - 06-08-2013, 05:18 PM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by Ryan_w_r - 06-09-2013, 09:08 AM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by Brownlie - 06-09-2013, 10:23 AM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by R.C. KITCHENS - 06-09-2013, 01:28 PM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by tectak - 10-30-2013, 09:43 PM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by Ryan_w_r - 11-03-2013, 03:24 PM
RE: The attic (post edit) - by MpoemsR - 11-03-2013, 04:15 PM



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