06-08-2013, 08:18 AM
Bunx Wrote: So here I be
sitting in a tree.
Riding my bike up
and down.
My mind, on
foggy ground.
So here I am
sitting in this shop:
coffee pouring
drooling forgot.
I am forgetting
what it is like,
too be a young
tike. Thank god to.
The pills are working
The opening is simple and effective with images of child hood days climbing trees riding bikes but because of the title we also see the monkey riding a bike in a tree, makes me smile, I like the switch to drug controlled drooling and café coffee pots again strong images Another twist takes us from thinking you want to remember to thanking God you don't, I would drop the "to" in Thank god to, very much enjoyed, TOMH
sitting in a tree.
Riding my bike up
and down.
My mind, on
foggy ground.
So here I am
sitting in this shop:
coffee pouring
drooling forgot.
I am forgetting
what it is like,
too be a young
tike. Thank god to.
The pills are working
The opening is simple and effective with images of child hood days climbing trees riding bikes but because of the title we also see the monkey riding a bike in a tree, makes me smile, I like the switch to drug controlled drooling and café coffee pots again strong images Another twist takes us from thinking you want to remember to thanking God you don't, I would drop the "to" in Thank god to, very much enjoyed, TOMH
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out