I haven't written anything for about 10 years. What do you think?

[canofworms]

I prefer version 1 to 2.
I agree with others, in the last 3 lines you kinda lose the melody or something, I don't know, in my opinion they just don't belong here, or they do but definitely in different form.
I like the poem entirely
Considering u haven't written anything in 10 years it's awesome
Hope to see more from u

Thanks. I'll work on those.

I mostly think things in my head when I am half asleep. About 2 years ago I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote a kick ass song I heard in my head.