05-31-2013, 09:01 AM
I could tell you what would leave an impression. But then I'd end up writing the poem myself. And I'm more interested in what you have to offer. As it is, there are only abstract images here. That's not always bad. But you said you were going to add more stanzas last time; you should do that.
And a semicolon doesn't end the sentence, so the next word doesn't need to be capitalized. Though I know of poets that do capitalize like that, to emphasize the start of a new line. In a normal sentence you wouldn't usually do that.
By the way, I have some Danish books and a Danish dictionary in my room. If you keep being nice, I might be encouraged to learn. Then I can read your other poems too. But don't expect too much from me.
And a semicolon doesn't end the sentence, so the next word doesn't need to be capitalized. Though I know of poets that do capitalize like that, to emphasize the start of a new line. In a normal sentence you wouldn't usually do that.
By the way, I have some Danish books and a Danish dictionary in my room. If you keep being nice, I might be encouraged to learn. Then I can read your other poems too. But don't expect too much from me.