The attic (post edit)

[Ryan_w_r]

Dust filled bars of light, cut through one another as their paths intersect.

The comma after light isn't needed, if you don't insist on it.

smells of Mildew, and mothballs coat the suffocating, thick, and stagnant air.

Mildew capitalized instead of smells; was that a conscious technique? Since there's nothing else like that in this, it probably isn't; but I'm just making sure. The comma after Mildew isn't really needed. not conscious, initially the line started with mildew and it was auto capitalized, later put smells in front of it and didn't think to fix it

Memories lay dormant, in the dark, forgotten memories meant to be remembered.

You can think about the comma after dormant here too.

Where unneeded wants, go to live out their existence...

And after wants.

-The attic

Yeah I put a lot of commas in there making it sound very unnatural... Thank you for straightening me out.