05-30-2013, 09:46 AM
Hi Jonathan,
I do agree with Tommy as regards lack of punctuation for this poem.
It was at times a bit confusing and I found myself doubling back to make sure I had the right context. This manner of reading back and forth did kind of lose me within the poem and therefore by the end I had lost the thread of what you were saying. Even as I am reading it through now I keep on getting lost a bit which is a shame because there is a good tone to this.
I was half thinking about going through it and adding some punctuation but it would appear that you have purposefully chosen not to use it. I definitely think that it would benefit even from just a little bit of punctuation to enable the reader.
I will come back to this poem though because there is a lot of good stuff in it, I just need to be able to concentrate on it a bit more.
Thanks AR
I do agree with Tommy as regards lack of punctuation for this poem.
It was at times a bit confusing and I found myself doubling back to make sure I had the right context. This manner of reading back and forth did kind of lose me within the poem and therefore by the end I had lost the thread of what you were saying. Even as I am reading it through now I keep on getting lost a bit which is a shame because there is a good tone to this.
I was half thinking about going through it and adding some punctuation but it would appear that you have purposefully chosen not to use it. I definitely think that it would benefit even from just a little bit of punctuation to enable the reader.
I will come back to this poem though because there is a lot of good stuff in it, I just need to be able to concentrate on it a bit more.
Thanks AR
wae aye man ye radgie