05-30-2013, 02:08 AM
I like it, it's a good start on a great poem, but I'm not sure about this stanza:
Like a frothy cat her powerful claws pound the rocks.
She can purrrrr, she can roar.
In her depths there is no heaven.
The 'frothy cat' simile makes it almost childlike. That whole part could be removed without changing the understanding.
Like a frothy cat her powerful claws pound the rocks.
She can purrrrr, she can roar.
In her depths there is no heaven.
The 'frothy cat' simile makes it almost childlike. That whole part could be removed without changing the understanding.
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)