Autumn

[milo]

Behold, green to brown and green to gold!
Soon, exposed, the stubble fields,
Leaves, underfoot, compress and mould,
Autumn asserts, as summer yields.

all of the commas through here throw off the read and are not technically necessary. the way it is written, leaves only mold when they are underfoot, which is pretty strange. Words like "Behold" and "soon" aren't adding anything. "stubble fields" is good.

Branches heavy with fruit galore,
Nuts to hasten the squirrel’s task,
Garner them for the winter store!
Press apples for the cider cask!

writing things like "fruits galore" in as poem just doesn't come across right. "Branches heavy" would imply the "galore" part. Imagine you and I were talking and I turned to you and said " hey, I am going to the market to buy some fruits galore, wanna come?" That would sound odd, no? I like "cider cask" - good sonics. Your meter through here is not so hot.

Creatures, prepare for frost and snow,
For days so short and nights so long,
Soon, flocks of birds migrating go,
Hail winter with their silent song.

"days so short" = short days. "nights so long" = long nights. "flocks of birds migrating go" is a twisted, tortured syntax for rhymes sake.

So let’s wrap up and take a stroll,
Kick up the leaves along our way,
Let fall and winter take their toll,
March onward to the buds of May!

I think you will have a hard time kicking up these compressed moldering leaves, but good luck.

I feel like you have the bones of a good, quaint little seasonal poem here. I think you might want to put an eye towards syntax, meter and superfluous wording in your re-write.

thanks for posting.

good luck

milo