Feeling You

[Brownlie]

You are aware that we live in the postmodern era now. If you were a modern poet you would probably be writing before ww2. I'm not trying to attack you personally I just want to clear that up for you if you didn't already know.

Feeling You

I am feeling you,
And your heat of desire,
I want to grow that flame, -- Flame as passion is cliche
I do not want it to expire,

I am feeling you, -- The tool your using here is called anaphora and it can be used successfully maybe you knew that.
And your warmth of heart,
I knew you were the one,
I knew it from the start,
I know your passion,
I know your pain,
I feel your sincerity,
I feel your rain,
It be such a lovely shower,
So intense and full of power,

I am feeling you,
At this very hour,
I feel the heat of flesh,
I feel the touch of skin,
I feel the radiance of light,
That emits from your grin,
Even though we are separated,
Please don’t give up on me,
It is about the love we share,
That will one day set us free,
To frolic in the fields,
To roll around in the hay,
To smell the roses of life,
As we snuggle and play,
Oh what a glorious day,
Henceforth that will arrive,
When you and I merge,
As we quiver and thrive,
I am feeling you,
My sweet eternal boo

This poem is not working for me its just too abstract there is no story or any kind of rhyme or technique (not that all poems need meter and rhyme). There just doesn't seem to be anything of merit here. I'm sorry I hope I can write a good review for you some day.