The metronome (second edit)

[Ryan_w_r]

Hi Ryan, quite an atmospheric piece you have crafted, for ME though the poem ends at "no my child, I've different plans for you". everything else comes across as rather verbose, let your readers imagination run riot, they'll enjoy it

Hmmm.... I like that idea.. Thanks for the input and thank you for reading!
You are completely correct!! I just re read it to where you said it should end and it is much better to me! I guess the thought had never crossed my mind to leave it unfinished and allow the reader to decide where to take it. Thank you!