i was remiss >
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most poems can be edited for the better.
a consistent meter would help yours, as would the removal of some excess words like the 2nd the of the 1st line.
that said. the poem was good for me and the things i mentioned are really nits. the backbone of the poems rant shows the apathy, felt through labour years of the unions and scroungers as seen through a Thatcherite's eyes
<most poems can be edited for the better.
a consistent meter would help yours, as would the removal of some excess words like the 2nd the of the 1st line.
that said. the poem was good for me and the things i mentioned are really nits. the backbone of the poems rant shows the apathy, felt through labour years of the unions and scroungers as seen through a Thatcherite's eyes