05-25-2013, 06:26 PM
For me, poetry is meant to be brief. It's designed to make the reader feel some way, and if you succeed in making your audience feel the way you want them to, I think you win.
Your poem did make me feel something. It was laziness. I could not even skim through all of it. And personally, I think that's both our faults. Or maybe just mine if you want to blame society for extending abbreviations into every facet of our lives (and me just being a product of my generation... there's always a direction to point the finger). But I suggest either splitting it up or making it a short story. Or leave it as is. Maybe you know something we don't.
Your poem did make me feel something. It was laziness. I could not even skim through all of it. And personally, I think that's both our faults. Or maybe just mine if you want to blame society for extending abbreviations into every facet of our lives (and me just being a product of my generation... there's always a direction to point the finger). But I suggest either splitting it up or making it a short story. Or leave it as is. Maybe you know something we don't.
I'll be there in a minute.