05-25-2013, 10:50 AM
Hi AJ,
This is brilliant, very sharp and clever and like Billy said needs a lot more reads.
As one of the proletariat I shouldn't be seen to be giving any praise but I can't help do so.
The alliteration in the 1st stanza is excellent especially shiftless chisellers which like many other phrases in here has cleverly more than one meaning. Such as "dole led to a steel striptease" very clever, and this "illuminated by a lightening strike" which took me till the fourth read before it finally sunk in, brilliant.
There's so many other things in here and I don't really want to give a critique, because I don't want to spoil my enjoyment of the poem.
Some of it I'm just getting now as I write this like "pre-programmed, PC hate"
It is as much of an education on British politics and culture as it is a poem and I do feel as though I should come back with a reply to try and tip the balance back towards the left, but after seeing the competition, I'll give it a miss.
Thanks for the read, I'll be reading this a few more times yet.
This is brilliant, very sharp and clever and like Billy said needs a lot more reads.
As one of the proletariat I shouldn't be seen to be giving any praise but I can't help do so.
The alliteration in the 1st stanza is excellent especially shiftless chisellers which like many other phrases in here has cleverly more than one meaning. Such as "dole led to a steel striptease" very clever, and this "illuminated by a lightening strike" which took me till the fourth read before it finally sunk in, brilliant.
There's so many other things in here and I don't really want to give a critique, because I don't want to spoil my enjoyment of the poem.
Some of it I'm just getting now as I write this like "pre-programmed, PC hate"
It is as much of an education on British politics and culture as it is a poem and I do feel as though I should come back with a reply to try and tip the balance back towards the left, but after seeing the competition, I'll give it a miss.
Thanks for the read, I'll be reading this a few more times yet.
wae aye man ye radgie