05-24-2013, 01:22 AM
I like this poem. But I'm in no mood for Serious critiquing at the moment. I plan on coming back. I'm bad with plans though. But I think I'll make it back.
I still get connections with d a levy. Maybe you were meant to like him. As example:
1.
i sit down next to her
& our toes begin a love dance
i think
how beautiful
her dark smile
her brown skin
& i touch her arms
her belly
our legs touch
& i realize i
want to see my white hand
on her dark breasts
and i cant do it
i try but my eyes
disappear
& all i can see
is beverly, beverly
tired & laying next to me
i get very confused
i dont really want to do
anything but be next to her
my hand touching
the small of her back
i cant do anything
except think love thoughts
to her & flash lights in my
head & wonder if she can
hear me loving her
2
in the 9 dimensional
collapseable universe
waiting for some one to
do it
i ask her what
she really wants
she knows!
she wants security
& i am so old and silly
in my need
i tell her the truth
I still get connections with d a levy. Maybe you were meant to like him. As example:
1.
i sit down next to her
& our toes begin a love dance
i think
how beautiful
her dark smile
her brown skin
& i touch her arms
her belly
our legs touch
& i realize i
want to see my white hand
on her dark breasts
and i cant do it
i try but my eyes
disappear
& all i can see
is beverly, beverly
tired & laying next to me
i get very confused
i dont really want to do
anything but be next to her
my hand touching
the small of her back
i cant do anything
except think love thoughts
to her & flash lights in my
head & wonder if she can
hear me loving her
2
in the 9 dimensional
collapseable universe
waiting for some one to
do it
i ask her what
she really wants
she knows!
she wants security
& i am so old and silly
in my need
i tell her the truth