last breath after coma.

[tectak]

hahahaha, truths bombs reigning down upon holy scrapping sexy ladies. oh holes are everywhere.
i consider myself raised in a religious school. so i'm a recovering catholic school victim

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Breathe.As you insist on indicating your aversion to correct syntax by still avoiding protocol...capital to follow full stop...try a semicolon after "breathe;"
one last time, Full stop here or no capital on the "you're", next line. Come on. It's not difficult
You're awake now.

"Doctor, what's the time?"

You're fading Alice "You're fading, Alice. I won't ever see you again." Otherwise her name is "fading Alice"
I won't ever see
You again. Why the capital here? See the version above.

"Time is irrelevant
Alice; is off, Now you are taking the piss! "Time is irrelevant. Alice is off to the land of the undead." ...which is where I am going if there is any more of this nonsense
to the land of
the undead."

it is okFull stop
Your just offAAARRGGHHH! YOU'RE. It means YOU ARE. "YOUR" is possessive as in YOUR POEM. Try not to repeat word/word groups unintentionally (and correct the thing if you do) . You used "Alice is off..." in the previous stanza.
to wonderland.
You're alright.

"DOCTOR WE GOT A BREATH!"OK

Much improved but you let yourself down by carelessness. You think this is like school? Not at all. Here you can ignore advice completely. You will still be wrong...but you can go home happy.
Best,
la fin
tectak