As Pygmalion

[Zerric]

Hello, Zerric.

Let’s see. Pygmalion was a sculptor who, while not generally interested in women, fell in love with a statue he had created. Thereafter, having made offerings to Venus and secretly wished for a bride who would be just like the statue, found on his return home that his wish had been granted. Etc …

So, really, it was a sculptor rather than a poet who was smitten. Which might (or might not) suggest some textual changes to your poem.

Yea Pygmalion was a sculptor...but the poem is not about Pygmalion. Its about falling in love with something you create just As Pygmalion did, in this case, a poet writing a poem about a girl.

For some (mandatory) nits, I thought some of your rhymes were a little forced, and there seemed to be some disconnection between the coming in and the going out of your poem as a whole. But perhaps I was missing something?

If I may ask, which lines sounded forced to you? And Eleanor is...well lets just say she's my muse. I can understand that maybe the fact that its very open in the beginning and then ends with such a personal note might seem like a disconnect, but that was why I wrote the poem in 3rd person, except the last two lines, which are in 1st person.

Starting with those lines, you've got hooked on the jingle without the philosophy of composition. Not that you should necessarily follow either one.

I'm not sure what you mean. Those are the last lines of the poem. There's nothing that starts with those lines, cuz the poem ends with em
plus I'm not really sure what you mean about the philosophy of composition either...