05-20-2013, 02:00 AM
This was a fun read. I got a sense of attitude slip as if the day is proving a long one and the heat has taken it's toll.
My only sm crit is that the second last line in the final stanza was too long and reads like it could do with a trim.
but overall enjoyed the read.
Thanks for sharing.
AJ.
My only sm crit is that the second last line in the final stanza was too long and reads like it could do with a trim.
but overall enjoyed the read.
Thanks for sharing.
AJ.