Who will come...? Edit 2. Rowens, brownlie,milo and true

[tectak]

The first was never going to live: in this new world, in these harsh times.
The wheel that turned, the scream that pierced, the life that flew to death
was Destiny in bold pursuit of what was always going to be.
He will not be at my party.

The second did not see the scythe; the silent, creeping, stalking kill.
At once the rheumy, running eyes were tearful testament to time
and to the sucking draw to earth, that pull of gravest gravity.
She will not be at my party.

The hope held firm for promised years until the third stepped off the stage.
We did not know, we could not tell, we knew no reason for the loss.
She turned to say she felt unwell and faded in to constant sleep.
She will not be at my party.

As if the price we pay for life is by the lives of others met,
a time in joyful summer days will stretch out in to years until
the debt is due and called in on the few we hold, and then they part.
They will not be at my party .

RSVP becomes a wish. We look into our book and see
the crossed out names, the struck down stars;
we sigh and try to fill a room with friends that still may be.
Will no one come to my party?
tectak
2013

This is overmodified like crazy, Tek. "Silent, creeping, stalking" - stalking means silent and creeping already.

Rheumy, runny eyes were tearful - again

sucking draw? do you really need sucking if you have draw?

gravest gravity - ok, there is some reason you are writing as inefficiently as possible here but I don't get it. elucidate so I don't think I've just lost my mind.

milo

Hi milo,
you're a good egg. Yes. I gave in to the emotional urges in this one. Over-adjectival lines help me ( and in truth, most real people) to express their feelings by the immediacy of utterance. It is as though under the circumsrances one cannot wring enough meaning out of one word (poet) and so three or more spill out( real person).
Call it an excuse. You will, I know
Must have worked on some level looking at true's comment...but you are not losing your mind. At least, not through anything I have written!
Best,
tectak