Stammer

[Tommy]

I wrote it all down on the paper, lose "the"
I bled it all over the page, this is when you caught my attention!
Before my thoughts turned to vapour,
Before my thoughts turned to rage,the use of thoughts again spoiled this line for me. It just needs a slight twist.
I wished to achieve nothing at all,
To obliterate every feeling I had,
My catharsis was to constantly scrawl,
Because without I would surely go mad, when I read it aloud I have trouble with the rhythm of "because without" two - two syllable words next to each other made me stumble a bit.
Desperation is a ground for exposure, I wanted to read it "grounds for exposure" but that does change the meaning.
To people I will only be a crutch,
I yearn for this sort of disclosure,
But never has paper weighed so much. nice strong ending.

I enjoyed this poem very much. Maybe because we've all been there. I offer these humble edits as suggestion only because it's pretty darn good without.