05-17-2013, 06:42 AM
Hey buddy, I see T.O.M.H has given you his feedback, I'd say that'd do it, the ending was very nice and cherry-ish I liked the last stanza very much, if only the start was a bit more powerful I'd a poem to remember for quite a while 
The dad's element gave it a nice touch
, grass, rustling leaves aah nothing what my childhood was like 
, I wish it was , a very wonderful effort and btw. Shouldn't it be THE most
Endearing secret instead of "A" most ?
The dad's element gave it a nice touch
, grass, rustling leaves aah nothing what my childhood was like , I wish it was , a very wonderful effort and btw. Shouldn't it be THE most Endearing secret instead of "A" most ?