05-17-2013, 02:18 AM
Well i don't know about babies...
when do they open their eyes?
How long does it take for their hair to grow?
Do they learn to walk during their first year? or crawl? or just turn over?
How long do they sleep? Do they play with toys?
Maybe she reacts to a certain type of music?
How big are her hands and feet? Does she grab onto your finger?
How does she sound when she laughs? cries?
How long do they sleep?
Does she eat? or do you have to do the airplane spoon thing?
You're much more qualified to write about this than any1 else, so just think about it, and it'll come to you...
However you've chosen to go with an internal rhyme in the first sentence, and then have the second sentence of each couplet rhyme...This is a little harder to think up. What I usually do is find one word I like, and think up the rhymes to go with it. And if I can't get a decent line from that, I go on to a different word. I'm not really sure if this is a good practice, but it works for me
see, just off the top of my head:
She opened her eyes, and laughed and cried,
And fell asleep as we crooned,
And time flew past, much too fast,
And 'one' has come too soon..
anywayz...
The poem is good...and this is not gonna matter much...but 'on' doesn't really rhyme with 'won'
what about something like:
With our hearts in song, from that day on,
We were over the moon...
That's not a perfect rhyme either but you can play around with it...
when do they open their eyes?
How long does it take for their hair to grow?
Do they learn to walk during their first year? or crawl? or just turn over?
How long do they sleep? Do they play with toys?
Maybe she reacts to a certain type of music?
How big are her hands and feet? Does she grab onto your finger?
How does she sound when she laughs? cries?
How long do they sleep?
Does she eat? or do you have to do the airplane spoon thing?
You're much more qualified to write about this than any1 else, so just think about it, and it'll come to you...
However you've chosen to go with an internal rhyme in the first sentence, and then have the second sentence of each couplet rhyme...This is a little harder to think up. What I usually do is find one word I like, and think up the rhymes to go with it. And if I can't get a decent line from that, I go on to a different word. I'm not really sure if this is a good practice, but it works for me
see, just off the top of my head:
She opened her eyes, and laughed and cried,
And fell asleep as we crooned,
And time flew past, much too fast,
And 'one' has come too soon..
anywayz...
The poem is good...and this is not gonna matter much...but 'on' doesn't really rhyme with 'won'
what about something like:
With our hearts in song, from that day on,
We were over the moon...
That's not a perfect rhyme either but you can play around with it...