Secret of Childhood

[Keith]

Hi Eli
This has a wistful feel to it and also a celebration of childhood captured in memories of summer in the garden with dad, I have put some suggested edits below, but I'm sure with fathers dad coming up, he would love to read this. TOMH

(I'm only turning 18 next month so I'm not wise enough to really understand much about life, but I hope this isn't too shortsighted anyway).

Secret of Childhood

In the freshly cut Summer's grass a bit week doesnt really grab your interest
where flowers grow and children play,
quietly hides a most endearing secret
that we all lived so long ago. feels a little forced

It can be heard in the birds' song
and the leaves' rustling; rustling leaves
felt on the prickly seeds
and dogs' soft licking;
seen in midnight dreams
and children's young smiles. some good images here that enrich the poem

For me it's found not just here,
but in a most everlasting place.
Where no matter the season
or emotional change of face
it's relived in my memory
like the day it was born. not sure this sound right do you remember the day you were born ?

It is there with my father,
who nourishes it with care. does he or is he unaware he carries it ?
My secret of childhood:
the man who raised me here
among these prickly seeds
and Summer's grass,
that when I am near him
again I can know
the joy everyone has
as a child playing. I like this gentle, wistful ending