05-16-2013, 09:32 AM
It doesn't seem too bad. It seems more like a short note than a poem though. With the war in the background.
I can see the way you wanted the poem to look. The lines.
But I was wondering about the big space. Is that how it's supposed to be?
The many uses of the word "here" near the end might be effective because of the way you use it. Depends on how you look at it.
I can see the way you wanted the poem to look. The lines.
But I was wondering about the big space. Is that how it's supposed to be?
The many uses of the word "here" near the end might be effective because of the way you use it. Depends on how you look at it.