Love

[Pilgrim]

To You my dear, I nod
And behind me squats
an earths clod
eternal youth elixirs hod
and a faceless god
And to You I shall nod
forevermore

Hello, Sonata.

1. I confess that I do not understand your poem.

2. I cannot make the connection between your title and what follows.

3. Have you anthropomorphised that clod which squats behind the narrator?

4. My understanding of a hod is that it is an open wooden box attached to a pole and is used for carrying bricks. That being the case, are you perhaps suggesting that your particular hod is used for carrying youth elixirs? A metaphorical hod perhaps?

5. A faceless god? God of what?

6. Nodding forevermore? Perpetual motion?

7. Earths and elixirs both seem to need apostrophes.

8. Perhaps a little restructuring mightn’t go amiss?

The foregoing remarks are not facetious.

Regards,

Pilgrim.