The Leveret (Threnody) (major rev.2)

[serge gurkski]

Heart, Tom, Billy and Brownlie: thank you for all the comments. Very much appreciated. I will revise very soon and most probably add punctuation. I am quite surprised how well Tom read my intentions. Maybe one of the reasons for that is indeed because he hunts. The ode is not exclusively expressing sadness but the amazement caused by my encounter with death, having just occurred a minute ago.
The hare was not torn to pieces, as Billy thought, but his neck was broken. Could not find one single drop of blood. This and the fact that his body was still warm, added to the "strangeness" of the situation for me. We were not really hunting (well the dogs were. ,-): It was a accident. Otherwise I surely would not have buried the hare. The metaphorical hunters I introduce, are hunting for nightly fun (pergolade de la nuit).

Structure: I ll remove the French and German because the English parts of S2 and 3 are "informed" by them (they are not word by word translations). I most likely will also combine S2 and 3.

cheers and thanks again :-)

serge

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When I will post rev.1, I'll reply to the critics' critiques, because they deserve it. They have raised interesting questions, which is why it takes me so long to do a rewrite. I must partly blame Cloudy, because of my having been only recently too deep into her poem " city park", and I admire her ability to write poetry without punctuation. With my ode to a leveret (ty Billy! ;-) ) I thought, I could a give it a try, because of what Tom stated above: overcome by emotion. Unfortunately, I then succumbed to my usual fooling around with syntax (e.g. here: "my dog had killed the hare I had to bury now(/)
my dog who'd killed the hare (/) she had to bury now
my anger with her licks". Brownlie has seen what I did there: anaphora. ,-)

...
cheers

serge