Pain is Temporary

[Pilgrim]

Hi there i need to make a nursery rhyme for English class that is suppose to have a moral lesson or meaning. Here is my poem. Tell me if you understand it and tell me if you can finding what the moral lesson is? Also any criticisms or advice to give me thanks? And is this poem an A+ or not? How can i improve thanks!

"Pain is only temporary"

No pain, no gain is what they say.

Being tough and brave can be the right way.

Sometimes that pain may last for a day.

And you may think the only cure is just to pray.

But you must understand that pain does not last forever.

If you quit to achieve your goals however, the pain will last forever.

So when you lose, fail or fall

Don’t crawl away from failure; just stand up nice and tall.

After all you will grow up to be big and strong.

Pain is only temporary.

Hello, rydmen.

My personal memory of nursery rhymes is fourfold: (1) they were taut and simple in structure; (2) they were metrically and rhythmically accessible to young children; (3) they were capable of being (and often were) set to music; (4) they frequently referred (though often in convoluted ways) to past historical events.

I’m thinking of ‘Simple Simon’, ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star’, ‘The grand old duke of York’, and all those other staples of my own childhood.

Times have changed, of course, and perhaps that despoiler of childhood, technology, has vanquished the innocent simplicity that once was its hallmark.

However, if we disregard (3) and (4) above, substituting for (4) your required ‘moral meaning’, I think that though your ‘moral meaning’ is clear, what you propose does not fall within the structure of ‘nursery rhyme’.

You have a coherent theme of ‘bravery under fire’ as it were, but you have rendered this concept as a series of statements which although connected thematically, somehow seem to lack continuity.

Recitation of a nursery rhyme is quite different from that of the Oath of Allegiance or the Nicene Creed.

May I suggest that you re-structure your poem, condensing the individual statements, and imposing on them a rhythmic meter more suitable for (presumably?) young children.

With regards and best wishes.

Pilgrim.