Poetry

[Brownlie]

The birth of poetry,a bodily function, How about something like Writing poetry is sensual? This first line seems awkward to me.
the building pressure of a sneeze This is a good concrete sensual detail, but I'm not sure if I can fully identify with the sentiment

as birthing a child, a slow and painful I don't know if its as bad as child birth. Just being facetious with you.
process of anticipation

or the dreamy, enticing excitement of a love lust tryst
exploding into orgasm, release beyond all reason. Too much for me once you've entered into physical copulation you've gone past the state of dreams.

in the final thrust of a jouster's lance
that bleeds out victory on the ground I assume the joust is meant to be phallic, is the blood supposed to be the rupture of a hymen? I prefer more subtlety when eroticism is used in literature.

The poet, that wretched soul
destined for greatness
or for death We are all destined for death, it is part of the human condition.
imbibes the painful truth Painful truth? What is that?
and gives us its beautiful device Beautiful seems to be a weak adjective here.

Hope my comments were helpful.[/color]