Shit I wrote then edit 0.01 billy

[tectak]

[Nowe='tectak' pid='125913' dateline='1368203538']
I can't tell you when it all started. I was young and I guess, crazy, too.
You get to rely on the people you love...hell, that's what they want you to do.
One day, though, it will happen. You believe that it's something you said
and you've no idea what the fuck has changed but it hurts like a kick in the head.
That's when it all just switches around, you're supposed to know what's on their mind.
You ask for the time and they ask where's your watch, and you find that you're always behind.
So you figure you'd better keep out the way, lock up your door and live cool.
You sleep when you want and you shut out the light and you live with only one rule.
Never get close to the people outside, they will burrow deep into your mind.
Live in your head where there's space to expand and where thinking can grow unconfined.
tectak
1967
I found this yesterday. On palimpsest, as serge would appreciate. I rescued it. It holds out hope for us all....except, perhaps, me

This was way ahead of its time. It might have been shit then, but it's not bad now, lyrically. It needs some imagery (and some other devices as well) though. Are you workshopping this, or is it just a piece of nostalgic memorabilia?
[/quote]
Thanks for comments, true. I had not considered that there was anything but historical interest in this...In '67 I was 19 and already through the birth pangs of my first poem. I can barely remember writing this and have no recollection at all of why or when I tried to erase it ( written in pencil with corrections). So no, I had not considered changing it substantially...unless I give it back it's original enigmatically pretentious title..."Lost in Space"
Best,
tectak
"Lost in Space" was, I think, a new tv series at the time, then a movie.

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I can't tell you when it all started. I was young and I guess, crazy, too.
You get to rely on the people you love...hell, that's what they want you to do.
One day, though, it will happen. You believe that it's something you said
and you've no idea what the fuck has changed but it hurts like a kick in the head.
That's when it all just switches around, you're supposed to know what's on their mind.
You ask for the time and they ask where's your watch, and you find that you're always behind.
So you figure you'd better keep out the way, lock up your door and live cool.
You sleep when you want and you shut out the light and you live with only one rule.
Never get close to the people outside, they will burrow deep into your mind.
Live in your head where there's space to expand and where thinking can grow unconfined.
tectak
1967
I found this yesterday. On palimpsest, as serge would appreciate. I rescued it. It holds out hope for us all....except, perhaps, me

1967? this is pretty good, this form is familiar in that it could have been written by Rowens I.e. he sometimes frames his lines in the same way and I have always found that intriguing, you may think it's shit but I enjoyed it.
That's when it all just switches around, you're supposed to know what's on their mind.
You ask for the time and they ask where's your watch, and you find that you're always behind.

These two lines I can really relate to. Thanks TOMH

Hi tomh,
You are too generous! I guess it is a rowanesque piece. Thank God I recovered...or not.
Best,
tectak