Forgive Me

[Sonata]

I like it. But i think that you should spend a little more time on it, first:
I think that you would write great prose.
Second:
I think you've made it prose too much? I mean only difference between this poem and let's say a short story is that this has stanzas. Don't get me wrong, poem has melody and rhytm and it is poetry, i just think you've went too much in a wrong direction. Try shortening the whole I've been there - I've done this, part and give those emotions a shape, you have enough of those just make them count.